Love your child the way they need to be loved

My latest column, 5 love languages for kids: love your child the way they need to be loved, was inspired by a book I had just recently read, entitled, The 5 Love Languages. This particular book is geared towards couples trying to show love or feel loved from their spouse or significant other. In it, the authors highlight 5 love languages:

1. Words of affirmation

2. Acts of service

3. Receiving gifts

4. Quality time

5. Physical touch

According to the authors’ new book, The 5 Love Languages of Children, these also apply to children.

I have been doing my best to love my children in the way they need to be loved. By carefully paying attention to their cues, I believe I have determined the primary love languages of my 4 older children.

Anderson: Quality Time

If I take even 10 minutes a day to go jump on the trampoline, play soccer or draw pictures with him, he is good to go for the day.

 

Aspen: Acts of service

After reading a Mother’s Day book she brought home from school, saying “I feel loved when my mom makes my bed,” I began to pay more attention to her love language. I found that when I would take time to straighten up her room, fix her hair –I even went as far ad to try cutting her hair in an A-line, with no formal training … which, by the way, didn’t turn out all that bad–she felt loved, and our relationship improved.

Ace: Physical Touch

If anyone knows this dude, they know that he is a “huggy” guy. Not only does he love hugs and kisses, but when he talks to you, he has to be in close proximity and he usually has his hand on your arm while he is doing it. He is the child who is always sitting on his primary teacher’s lap … bless their souls.

This has been a challenge for me, and believe me, I am still working on it. I am determined to do better.

Aussie: Words of affirmation

This little guy is constantly telling me that I’m “the best mom ever!” He also brightens up when I tell him he has done a good job. Another huge clue that I have found is that he is my “over-explainer.” Whenever he makes a mistake, he has to have an explanation as to why he did it. When I interject, and say “It’s OK. I’m not mad,” he lights up. All he needs to know is that he’s OK, and to hear that we love him.

Azure: Still figuring it out. Crossing my fingers for quality time

I really have learned so much about my children and about myself, since I have made this discovery. I still do my best to give them all time, physical touch, gifts … all of the other ways of showing love, but I do make sure that I cater to their individual love languages. I never want my kids to say, “My mom didn’t love me because she never________.” I want them to know for absolute certainty that their mom loves them.

Photo Credit : Mikki Grimley Photograpy

 

 

 

Combating Cabin Fever

I have lived in Utah for the past 20 years or so, and I can’t remember a winter that had temperatures that were this cold. Not only have the temperatures been cold, but the inversion has made the air quality downright gross. Needless to say, taking the kids outside has not been a feasible option. Due to this, we have been stuck indoors for weeks.

The weeks following Christmas was fine, with the new toys and such, but it is inevitable that the condition known as cabin fever, will eventually set in. And, boy has it ever set in at our house!

Call it a lack of vitamin D, exercise–whatever. Cabin fever is real.

Near at my wit’s end, I asked some friends of mine for some tips on combating cabin fever. Here is an article with some of them. I loved all of their ideas, and can’t wait to try them out. There were two that I added, here they are:

Let your kids play without you. As fun as it may be, and as wonderful as you may feel to have created that perfect craft, visited that wonderful museum or facilitated that marvelous moment with your kids, sometimes we adults get in the way of allowing our children to explore on their own.

Some of the best times I have had are when I have watched my kids go from being utterly bored one minute to sliding down the stairs in sleeping bags or sending toys sailing down the treadmill the next. These are the times when I have seen them smile the widest, heard them laugh the hardest, and I had absolutely nothing to do with it.

 Make time for you. We’ve all heard the saying, “Happy mom, happy home.” Sometimes — OK, most of the time — the way the kids act is completely dependent on the way mom feels. If you’re feeling cooped, they will, too. Allow yourself time to do the things you need to allow for the “cabin” to turn back into a home.

Here is an example of what happens when you let your kids’ imaginations go:

He came up with his own snack after watching Food Network’s “Chopped” with me. A delicious dish consisting of string cheese (known to him as, “strange cheese”), torn up hot dog bun, and a lemon icee that we made by putting koolaid outside to freeze. To him it was delicious! Can’t you tell by the smile on his face”?

Lastly, in order to maintain my sanity, I go out for long runs, and it doesn’t matter the conditions. I had an article come out just yesterday, about my sweet adventure. Here is the link, and here is a clue:

Can you guess where I am?

What do you do to combat cabin fever?

To keep, or not to keep

In my column that was just published today, I give my own personal guide to decluttering post Holiday season.

If you are anything like us, during the Holidays, we completely hang around an do not much of anything. My husband and I are both teachers, so we get to have the time off with our kids to do just that…it is kind of a mini-summer vacation, except a lot colder…a lot colder!

This coldness inhibits the kids from going outside, so thankfully the myriad of new toys and fun things keep them busy for the long days indoors. Our entire house turns into a large toy box of sorts.

Once the break comes to an end, we begin the task of going through things.

This picture describes just the way I feel…I don’t think it is a coincidence that there are a bunch of white elephants in the room

Here is my personal guide to decluttering.

If you have any other tips, I would love to hear them!

A new year, the ‘old’ you

In my last  column, I wrote about bringing back the old you, rather than the “new you” that is all too often brought up when speaking of New Year’s Resolutions.

I was inspired by my own children, as well as the ones who were tragically taken in the shootings in Connecticut. How pure and untainted they are. The perfect examples to me of what I want to be.

My five kids being so silly during our family photo shoot. Such a pure picture of what it is like to be a child.

Photo taken by mikkigrimleyphotography.blogspot.com

On my other blog, I wrote about things that the child “me” loved doing, and what the (30-year-old) me, still loves.

What are some things from the “old you,” that you would like to bring back in 2013?

Letter to Santa

In my latest column, entitle, Reduce the “gimmies” by giving Santa less credit,” I referred to a “note” that we received from Santa, indicating that he would only be filling the stockings this year. As was stated in the article, we decided to do this, in an effort to make room for the real magic of Christmas, being Christ and of giving and gratitude.

After the article was published, I got a flood of emails asking for a copy of the letter. I thought that I would post it, if anyone wanted to use it in its entirety (names need to be edited ), or if you just wanted to use it as a guideline. Whatever you  need. I am happy to share.

I hope it works for you as well as it has for our family.

Have a wonderful Christmas!

Dear Brown Family,

I hope you have all had a wonderful year! I am so very proud of you. My elves and helpers have told me what good children you have been, and that makes me so happy! Thank you for being so kind to others. As we know, this is the true meaning of Christmas.

This year, as my elves and I were getting ready for Christmas, we found that there were some sad things that were happening around the world, that left so many good girls and boys without things that they needed. So many kids needed food and clothes, and many didn’t even have a single toy to play with. This made us so sad, and we knew we needed to help.

This year, I decided to ask your parents (who are also my helpers), if they could help me, and all the children around the world, by giving you the wrapped Christmas gifts, in stead of me. I will not be wrapping gifts this year, but I will still make a visit to your home on Christmas Eve, and I will have some little surprises to put in your stockings. So, make sure that you are still being kind to others, so that I will be able to come visit your home. I would be so sad if I weren’t able to come. I love the plate of cookies that you leave for me each year. You are all such wonderful cooks!

Thank you so much for being such great children, and for doing your part to help all the good girls and boys around the world to have the things they need.

Give your mom and dad, brothers and sisters big hugs for me.

I love you all!

Love,

Santa Claus

Hello world!

I am a wife and mother to 5 kids, I love being able to be a mother, and to do so many things that I love. Two things that come 3rd and 4th to being a wife and mother, are my love for running and writing. I have been so blessed to be able to do both of those things, as well as to write about them! I write a running column entitled, “The Run Down,”  that is dedicated to running, with an accompanying blog. I also write a mothering column entitled, “(Tattle) Tales of a Busy Mom,” and have begun a blog to accompany it, as well…this being it!

I am not really great at blogging, as the title suggest, I am a busy mom. I hope you enjoy the posts, as I have time to write, and I would love your feedback.

Thanks for reading!

Ari